Hi guys! I am still wayyy in over my head with adjusting to uni right now, and having long, long days on public transport, but there are a few little things I wanted to mention today on the blog.
First of all, how was your weekend?
Mine was very lazy! I escaped to the boyfriend's house on Friday thanks to my dear friend, Ellie, who picked me up on her way down, got the news that I am now an Aunty to two (yay!) little cuties, got to see one of said cuties who is now talking all of our ears off in the third person (cutest thing ever) and got to see a pic of the new cutie, Eva May, who I can't wait to meet! Aside from all the excitement of Jake's sister giving birth, we basically just lounged around all weekend enjoying each others company, eating lots of junk and watching movies. I even got a rom-com out of him! Jake's parents went to Gosford to meet their new granddaughter, so we had the house to ourselves, and can I just say that absence really does make the heart grow fonder! Seriously, lately when Jake and I are together, we are just that - together. There is no squabbling, no needing space. We literally spend all weekend just enjoying each other's company, staring at each other, hugging, holding hands and generally making anyone who could be peeking through the window want to vomit with our cuteness. I feel whole again when he is here, and Jake didn't even pester me about the miserable weather!
That being said, however, yesterday morning when he left my place for work, I got a bit teary. Being away from him all week is not easy and sometimes I feel like I'm not coping. Moving out of home, having the car crash, starting uni, living by myself - it's all taking it's toll on me, and that's why I want to talk about a kind of sensitive issue right now. I had a major panic attack last week, and now I am seeing a counselor. Admitting this is not easy for me, and to be honest, I am a little embarrassed about it, but right now I'm not coping and I need the extra support the counselor gives me. Going into a panic attack, not being able to breathe and feeling like I was suffocating in the middle of the night while I'm living by myself was not a good experience. I thought I was going to have an asthma attack and was scared that I couldn't even talk on the phone to call myself an ambulance if I did. Anxiety disorders and depression run in my family on both sides, so for me, waking up to the realisation that i'm anxious and depressed was a huge thing. Besides, the counselor is someone to talk to without making mum freak out, she is teaching me to control my panic and anxiety, to deal with my emotions as they surface and because I'm using the student service at uni, it's free. I feel like I'm really getting somewhere by seeing her, and hopefully this will help my blog mojo back too, since I know I've been shocking lately, too busy wallowing in self pity to post. You guys need to get up me for that, ya know? It's not good! Haha
Another thing I want to mention right now is I finally got my scholarship money today, and bought myself a MacBook! So yes, this is first ever MacBook post which is incredibly exciting, although I still have no freaking clue how to use this thing!
And last but not least, I think there is still a few hours left of my Giveaway if you haven't entered yet. There are two $50 prize packs donated by five very lovely bloggers, including tonnes of ad space, so I would really love it if you joined in!
Well, wasn't that a hodge-podge mix of topics to talk about? I really am sorry about that but since I'm run off my feet right now, I felt like I just needed to get some stuff down! I promise you will see me again tomorrow to announce the winner of the giveaway, but t be honest, I'm not sure when my next blog appearance will be. Definitely this week, though, and I'm working on thinking up some regular weekly post topics so that I can be a little more professional and organised on the blog! I hope you all had lovely weekends :)
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