A Very Groovy Saturday

It seems the sun is taunting us here at the moment. A few days of sweet sunshine and now we are back to grey skies and cardigans. Jake and I made the most of the rainy Saturday we were given, with a late breakfast at Groovers Cafe and Restaurant followed by a few hits at the driving range and a snuggly afternoon with some movies on the couch.

Groovers Cafe and Restaurant is relatively new to town, but their good food, quirky decor and reasonable prices mean that Jake and I, being a mere 200 metres away, are frequent customers. So far we have only been at either breakfast or lunch time, but I hear they do a killer tapas style dinner accompanied by good tunes and cheap beer, too. I'm sure I'll test it out sooner or later! 

I got a little overexcited and forgot to take a picture of our breakfast this morning before we ate it, but you'll just have to trust me that it was good! Jake and I both ordered the Aussie breakfast - two eggs, turkish bread, bacon, mushrooms, potato (yes, potato!), pineapple, a sausage and cooked tomato and yes, it was as filling as it sounds! Jake joked on the way out that mine should have been half price, based on how little of it I could eat, and even he had a little bit left on his plate. Their coffee wasn't bad, either. I drank my first quickly before the food came to warm my belly, and savoured the second as we finished our meal. If you're ever in Lennox Head, I'd definitely recommend you check it out! 

Next up was the driving range - one of Jake's favourite rainy day activities. Nothing releases the anger of an incredibly active person having their weekend sporting plans ruined by the rain quite like whacking 100 golf balls as hard as you can from the safety of a tin shed. Apparently. Plus, the puddles make it easier to see where your ball went!

Finally, we retreated home for one of my favourite rainy day activities - snuggles and movies! Jake convinced me to watch Wolf Creek 2 (oh, the nightmares!) and then left me home alone to go to the gym while I watched Alladin to calm myself. When he got home, we finished off the day with a steak dinner and The Wolf of Wall Street. Nothing like a bit of Leo to ensure you have sweet dreams!

What's your perfect rainy day sound like? I have to admit, I think this one would be pretty tough to beat!

*Note: This is not a sponsored post, I just really love Groovers. If you go for lunch, I totally recommend the BLT*

8 things i've learned so far this year...

source

1. Home really is where the heart is

2. You can't let bills & housework stress you out

3. How to light a lighter

4. A lot can be achieved with some secondhand furniture and a tin of paint

5. How to duck dive a surfboard (sort of)

6. Exercise does a world of good… but so does rest!

7. Follow your heart

8. You're allowed to have more than one dream job

What have you learned so far this year?

Big Decisions and not letting things stand in your way

For the past two years, I have been trying to convince myself that I want to be an English and History teacher. After my HSC results came in, I realized that all the time I had off school sick over the year had severely affected my marks and I would not be getting into any medicine or pre-med courses. I was a little bit heartbroken, but had been expecting it and knew it was for the better. 

The hunt was on for a new career, and I had only a few short weeks to make a decision on what I was to do for the rest of my life. My marks for English and History had been really, really good and I enjoyed the subjects so much, but ever since I was a little girl I had wanted to be a doctor and I still had a real fascination with the medical world. My two conflicting interests were tearing me different ways and the two career paths I decided between were teaching and midwifery. The appeal of 10 weeks holidays a year and good hours tore me away from the medical profession I'd so long desired and I chose teaching. 

I've now been studying literature, history and cultural studies for a year and a half, and while last year I enjoyed my studies immensely, changing to a new university this year has made me reconsider my career choice. I began to realize that I cannot picture myself standing up in front of a classroom for the rest of my life, and that I'm not challenged by the course work (a good thing for some but apparently I'm a weirdo who likes things to be hard?). 

So, after a few months of thinking, research and countless episodes watched of The Midwives and One Born Every Minute (they seriously need to make some Aussie midwife shows!) I have finally decided to change to midwifery! I put in my application yesterday and have already been accepted into nursing (which was my second choice and has the exact same first year subjects as midwifery) to start next semester! I have to wait to see what my marks are this semester before I find out if I also got into the Bachelor of Midwifery but I'm super excited anyway because I know I'm going to be able to do it whether I need to transfer again from nursing or not!

A big part of the reason I have spent 2 years trying to convince myself to be a teacher is my health. Even now, my close family and friends are concerned with how I will cope with night shifts and such physical work with lupus but I had to take the chance and make this decision. I may have lupus, but why should I let it control such an important decision in my life? I may not ever be able to work full time in my profession due to my illness, but the same goes for teaching as well. On the other hand, I could go into remission in a few years and if I hadn't taken this chance, I could really regret not following my dreams. 

I can't think of anything more magical than helping to bring new life into the world everyday as a profession. Being a midwife would be more than just a job to me. It would be a privilege to help women bring their babies safely earth side and I am very excited for my new career path!

A day with lupus.

Jake is in the kitchen, getting ready for work and making noise. The first thing I notice is the heaviness in my body. I feel so heavy! I move a little and it hurts. My joints are stiff and sore. My muscles ache. I open my eyes. It must be early because Jake is still here and it's still dark. I let myself fall back asleep, stirring slightly as he kisses me goodbye.

My alarm is ringing and I open my eyes. Time to get up and ready for Uni. I try to reach out my arm, but it feels like a dead weight. It's 8am. I've had 10 hours sleep but I am still exhausted. Somehow I turn off the alarm. My eyes flutter as I try to keep them open. I slowly move one leg, then another. It hurts but I know I have to get myself moving and out of bed. My eyes start to close again and I shake them awake. Then begins the process of sitting up. I have to sit up so I stay awake. I give myself a pep talk, all the while shaking my head to keep my eyes open. Must make it to the closet. Must get dressed. I'm too tired. I'm not going to make it to Uni like this. 

I make my way to the shower, running into both door ways and stubbing my toe in my exhausted daze. In the shower, I sit and let the hot water wash over me, easing my stiff and sore joints and awakening me. I can't wash my hair today. It will take too much energy. Now, wrapped in a towel, a little more awake, I make my way back to the closet. I sit down to dress, not trusting my aching, tired body to stand. Next up is breakfast to give me the energy boost I need to start the day. 

I'm always late out the door. At some point in the morning, I know I'll fall back to sleep. On days when I need to be up at the same time as jake, he sometimes finds me asleep in the shower, or sprawled on the floor in front of the closet, still wrapped in my towel. Every little task is something I have to build myself up for. I only go to Uni for three hours a day, but when I get home I need a nap again. I'm exhausted. There are days when I start nodding off in the car and scare myself by going over the lines. There are days when I can't cook dinner, because I'm too exhausted. There are days where I literally have to choose between hanging out the washing or washing the dishes, because I know I don't have the energy for both. 

My illness might be invisible, but it's something I will have to manage for the rest of my life. I rarely drink alcohol anymore because its not worth the flare that it brings. If I stay up late, I'm risking not being able to get out of bed the whole next day. There are days that I can't get out of bed even after a good night's sleep, so I know not to risk it now. 

Sometimes I get tired of my lot, we all do, but despite the anxiety and depression this illness has brought me, I will never give up. Every day might be a battle, but whenever I can, I will battle with a smile on my face. 

Thankful Thursday #4

Hello all! I do hope you are having a lovely week with plenty to be thankful for!

This week I am thankful for:

Little corners of my home coming together - I haven't done a lot of decorating in my new place yet because I really don't know which style (if any) I am going for, but I am incredibly thankful for the few pretty little nooks and crannies that are coming together now. I feel like a Sim - my environment meter is slowly and surely going up as bits of my home come together haha

Dad's retro surfboard - My dad gave me one of his old, retro surfboards on the weekend so that I can start learning while he makes me a new, custom board and I'm so thankful for both of these things! I love his old board. It's so cool!

Afternoon surfs after work - Thanks to my new board, some fine weather and living in one of the most beautiful places in the world, afternoon surfs have been happening this week. I'm only learning, but it has been so much fun and I am really going to miss the sun being out until after 7 when daylight savings ends!

Afternoon cups of tea with mum - I went and visited mum on Tuesday afternoon and sat and had a culpa with her while I taught her something on the sewing machine. It's a strange feeling teaching mum things to do with sewing when she is the one that originally taught me how to sew, but I really appreciated this it of time spent together. I miss her since moving out of home.

Lennox Head Pizza and Pasta - Jake bought us pizza for dinner tonight and oh my gosh it was so delicious! I am convinced I'm going to get fat living within walking distance of the pizza shop, but I am thankful for the delicious Moroccan lamb pizza and the little pizza shop it came from all the same.

Fiona O'Loughlin reading my review of her memoir and thanking me for it on twitter! I'm fan-girling. Holy shit! She is amazing and she put like a billion xxx's at the end of her thank you tweet! Totally star struck and gobsmacked and proud!

As always, a big thank you to Lisette and Leona for inspiring me to be more thankful.

Thankful Thursday #3

Okay, so I know I'm late again but these posts mean too much to me not to write them at all and this week has been a very up and down week full of anxiety and a little bit of illness for me, so that makes it even more imperative to be thankful. I started back at uni on Tuesday at a new uni and was not feeling very positive about it all because I just loved Griffith so much, but it's turned out that SCU isn't all bad and there have been plenty of little things throughout the week that I can be thankful for.

Friendly faces - I walked into uni this Tuesday feeling like I was going to throw up, when all of a sudden, I saw a single friendly face who offered to show me to my class and all became right with the world again. Friendly people are the greatest!

Pinterest's send pin option - Since leaving the Gold Coast and my beloved Griffith university, pinterest seems to be mine and my best friend's main channel of communication. We often send each other funny little things that relate to inside jokes we share, or pins of things we know the other would just love so much. On Monday night I had a particularly shitty night with family and financial problems getting me down and just before bed, with tears streaming down my face, I opened this pin that Darci sent me that set me off in hysterics! It was exactly what I needed to cheer me up!

Comfort foods - This week has definitely been a good one for comfort foods in my household. I went through 4 litres of ice cream and a large jar of nutella in less than two weeks and even convinced Jake to let me buy more! Not exactly a healthy diet, but hey - I'm happy and ice cream is delicious!

Setting goals - This may come across as a strange thing to be thankful for, but I'm a terribly indecisive person and I'm not very good with goal setting (load of rubbish, innit). This week, however; I decided that June/July 2015 I will be in the UK/Germany. On top of being indecisive and not good at goal setting, I'm also a rubbish saver, but it seems this decision has all of a sudden  got me watching my pennies and I've actually managed to put a fair chunk of money away already! I never thought a UK trip would really be possible for me while I'm at uni, but I may just prove myself wrong here!

Jake - yeah, I know I could put this dude in pretty much every Thankful Thursday post ever, but this week with him has ben so great! He has made me laugh so much! Picture this - I came home on Wednesday afternoon to see my burly, Aussie, beer drinking, tradie boyfriend with a mud mask on. Yep, that's right, a mud mask! My friend lent the mask to me to try because it is a product she bought through me from Arbonne that I hadn't tried yet. I put it on Jake jokingly on Sunday afternoon when I was doing it, but I never expected him to like it enough to want to do it again! So funny!

I hope you have a lot to be thankful for this week! As always thanks to Lisette and Leona for inspiring me to be more thankful!

Thankful Thursday #2

I miss this little dude! And my mummy.

This week, as the full reality of living out of home again and living with Jake sinks in, I definitely am finding it crucial to remember the little happy things throughout the day that I can be thankful for. So without further ado, this week I am thankful for:

Living by the beach - after a hard day of unpacking or working, afternoon bike rides for a swim at the boat channel, or simply kicking back with a cuppa and listening out the window to the soothing sound of rolling waves are greatly appreciated.

Jake mopping and vacuuming - this might should like a simple thing to be thankful for, but that's the point. Before we moved out, Jake's mum still made his bed and did his washing, so the fact that he has been willing to help with housework without prodding is a miracle to me and such a relief! So far, it's really helped us to avoid arguments.

Paying off my library fines - this week I paid off $17 of library fines that I have guiltily been avoiding for two years and started borrowing books again. Ever since, I've had my head stuck in a book. It's great!

My Arbonne support network - I don't want to get all soppy, but these girls are amazing. In Arbonne, you have a "team" of uplines and downlines and then you have sisterlines, who are linked to your team in other ways. Really, your success depends on the support of your upline, who should be checking up on you and helping you stay on track, and your downlines who you support in the same way. Their most important job is keeping you motivated and excited by the business and keeping your dreams alive. Well, my upline has sort of left Arbonne at the moment because she has enormous stress on her plate and family problems which are demanding her attention right now, and I totally understand that, but it makes things a bit difficult for me trying to do this thing without her support. Enter, my fantastic sisterline's District Manager, Rosie, who has taken me under her wing, made me feel a part of her group and offers me tremendous support with my business. The kind of support you expect from your upline. I can't thank her and her team enough for making me feel like one of them, and for keeping me motivated to succeed and passing on their knowledge to me. They don't know how much it means.

Living in Lennox Head - Seriously, this might be in every Thankful Thursday post forever now. I love this town so much! The atmosphere, being able to ride bikes everywhere, the friendly people who stop you randomly in the street for a chat, the singing barrista at my favourite coffee shop in town. This place is amazing and I don't think I'll ever get over it!

Last but not least, I am thankful to Lisette and Leona for inspiring me to be more thankful.

Tips for moving house

Well, considering I move into my fourth house in a year today, I thought I would put together a little post on tips for moving house. I mean, I do consider myself somewhat of an expert in this area by now! Most of this stuff is small stuff, but believe you me, it's the little stuff that makes a difference when you're lugging your fourth car load of boxes to your new place and someone's blocked the driveway. Moving house can be a very stressful experience, so to avoid tempers colliding, you want to make things as easy as possible for yourself, right? Thought so :)

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Tip #1

Pack your clothes in an organised way - shirts with shirts, shorts with shorts, clean undies somewhere you can find them easily and try to keep everything folded so that when you get to the other end, you can pack your clothes into your wardrobe quickly and without fuss. Also, pack an overnight bag with essentials and a few pairs of clothes included in case you don't get around to putting your clothes away on the first day. I swear there is nothing worse than not being able to find your pyjamas after a hard day moving house! 

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Tip #2

Label boxes very clearly! Instead of just writing what room things are for, be specific. That way you know which boxes you need to unpack first to survive the first few days in your new home! For example, cups and plates would take unpacking priority over your fondue set and baking supplies in the kitchen, as you're going to want to use them pretty much straight away!

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Tip #3

This is a rather important one - make sure to get your electricity hooked up before you move in and put your fridge on the first load of furniture to go to your new home. It takes a fair while for your fridge to cool down when you first hook it up and you're probably going to want a cold drink after moving all that furniture around all day! Trust me, you'll thank me for this one!

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Tip #4

If you've already seen your new home before moving day, draw up a rough map of where you want your furniture before it all gets moved to your new place and give it to the men with the muscle so that they can put everything in it's place first go. There is nothing worse than a random jumble of furniture in your living room when you're trying to get yourself settled in your new home. Plus, who wants to be madly moving furniture around trying to find the best place for it when there are boxes to unpack?

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Tip #5

Have an esky of cold drinks and sandwiches on hand for everyone who is helping you on moving day, whether it's friends and family or you have hired professionals to help you move*. Moving is hot and sweaty work, and I can guarantee that everyone involved will be much happier if there is a cold drink and a bite of lunch on hand for them through the day. It also goes a long way to have a little thank you gift on hand for those who help you move, be it a box of chocolate or a six pack of cold ones, I'm sure they will appreciate the gesture. Moving isn't exactly fun, so you should definitely let your helpers know you appreciate them giving up their day!

Well, that's all the insight I have for today, but I'm sure I'll think of some more little gems this weekend along the way.  Would a part two to this post be worth putting together for you all? Or do you have your own pieces of advice for me to implement this weekend?

*This is a sponsored link

Thankful Thursday #1

I have been a long time lover of Lisette's Thankful Thursday posts, and when my UK twin, Leona jumped on board as well, I just knew it was something I should do. In the stress of the past months, it has been all to easy for me to push the good things aside, and I really want to focus on the positives this year, as I'm sure it can only help improve all aspects of my life. 

Things I am thankful for this week

Moving in with Jake

I am so thankful that this is finally happening for us! We sign the lease and pick up the keys on Saturday and that is just so amazing to me!

Mumma bear's generosity

I'm a bit short on cash this week what with having to scrape together $900 for the bond for our new place and having my car insurance run out at the same time. Even though my family is a one income family, mum always puts our needs first and is always there to help with even just the little things. I'm very lucky to have such a fantastic mum!

Fellowship of the Bloggers

So, if you haven't heard yet, some bloggy pals and I have started a new blogging collective and I am truly thankful for it this week! Tilly, Gemma, Sam and Magdelena are such fantastic, supportive people to have in my life and I am thankful for how close this new venture has brought us together. Bloggers are the best!

Arbonne

I know you are probably wondering why I am thankful for my business, and no it's not because of the business aspects of it. Arbonne skin care, hair care and cosmetics have transformed my skin and hair. I've never been so confident in my appearance and not only that, but Arbonne has helped me to reconnect with so many friends, and make so many more! After moving back from the Gold Coast, having a business that forces me to get out there and be social is exactly what I need and so I am incredibly thankful that I have this opportunity! 

Exciting News!

So, some much-needed exciting news came mine and Jake's way on Monday that I just couldn't wait to share on the blog! After four months of looking for our own place in Lennox Head, we have finally been approved for a place! YAAAAYYYYYYYY!

Now, it's only a small, 2 bedroom unit and not at all the home of my dreams, but it is incredibly cute and from the moment we walked in the door, I could just see all our stuff in the rooms and picture the way I would have it decorated. I was so anxious waiting for over a week to hear back from the real estate, but finally we got the word that it is ours if we want it and I'm so relieved!

Now, Jake thinks we should look at another place that the same real estate is advertising, but I'm not so sure. We have been waiting for this for so long that I just want to jump right in! I can't wait to finally be living with my other half, to have my own space again and to start on this next phase of our lives together. If I can talk Jake around to making the leap and signing the lease, we could move in this weekend! I can't wait to show you all photos!

A Health Update: Spilling my heart out

If you have been reading this blog for a while, you will know that I suffer from quite severe health troubles, with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, aching joints and muscles and possible the worst immune system in the world. In fact, if you have been reading for a long while, you will probably also know that this blog was born out of my illness, in a time where I desperately needed something to fill the days when I was too sick to work.

Well, I have moved forward in leaps and bounds since first encountering these troubles and so has my blog, but it hasn't been without struggle and my heath problems certainly have not gone away. I wake up in pain every single morning. Some days, this pain goes away after an hour or so. Other days it stays with me all day. I have trouble walking up the stairs because my knees ache and I am tired all the time. There are days when I simply can not get out of bed and even blogging seems too hard. I'm sorry for the length of this post, but I feel it's important for you to know what's going on in my life as dedicated readers, and I have a lot that I need to get off my chest regarding how my health is lately.

Lately, there have been a lot of these days. My condition isn't one that can easily be treated and so for the last year and a half I have been doing my best to learn to manage it and to build up my stamina so that I can go to uni, work and basically just live a full life. These uni holidays have been a real test of my endurance, as I have been working in child care which is very strenuous work and testing how many days of work a week I can cope with. I find I can do four if I have a break in the middle, but I end up needing quiet days on the Wednesday and Saturday if I do. Three is ideal for me right now. It gives me enough money to save a little these holidays, while not tiring me out too much or taking too much of a toll on my body.

My symptoms have gotten gradually worse, especially over the last 6 months as I have struggled to cope with aching muscles and joints, fatigue, loss of appetite, a poor immune system and hair breakage and loss. My specialist appointment last week was both much dreaded and much anticipated and I was torn between hope for a diagnosis and treatment and fear of what the gradual worsening of my symptoms might mean for my future.

I left the specialist's office with confused feelings as well. Relieved to finally have a name for the condition I've struggled with for three and a half years now, dread of what that one little word means for my health and anxiety over what it means for my future. It took me a good while in a coffee shop to sort out my feelings enough to even be capable of driving home, and a good while longer to accept that it is possible I will be on medication now for the rest of my life. The diagnosis I was given is that of Systematic Lupus Erythematosus (SLE) which I suppose you could Google if you wished (although please don't let it scare you too much. I would recommend this website for a good understanding of what it is) and it is a lot for me to deal with right now, so I would really appreciate your support and understanding on the blog. It is a scary thought for a girl of 19 to be on long-term treatment for a disease which cripples my ability to live like a normal teenager, but I am thankful that we have caught it early and that my treatment may prevent my symptoms from getting any worse than they already are. I am also thankful we are able to use a very low level treatment for now and that so far, I haven't felt any side effects from this treatment.

The hardest part for me, is trying to instil some sort of understanding of my condition in my family and friends. When you look normal on the outside, it is hard for people to understand what is going on inside you and I am really struggling with things like making my parents understand that some days I am not up to doing anything other than sitting on the couch, as they mistake this for laziness more often than not, not realising exactly how exhausted I might be, or that I may have woken up in severe pain that morning which just has not gone away. Because pain is an everyday thing for me, I try not to complain about it. It's become a part of my everyday life and so my family doesn't always realise the extent of my illness or what it does to my body. I try to communicate with them, but it is so hard to get across what I am feeling at any particular time. Sometimes the best I can do is to say "I'm feeling really sore today" when really I want to say "I'm floppy tired with sore joints and tingly-sore arms and legs which click painfully every time I move and I honestly do not think I can move right now", a perplexing description of the fatigue and aches and pains I experience every morning, which sometimes lasts the day.

I am also really scared of what this diagnosis means for my relationship with Jake. I know he loves me very, very much and I know he tries to understand my illness and cater for my needs, but sometimes when I don't feel up to doing something he really wants to do, or going somewhere he really wants to go, he gets a little cross with me, later admitting, "You look so normal, babe. Sometimes I forget about your lupus and forget how tired you get and how much pain you're in."He is such an adventurous person with a love of extreme sport and I want so badly to share in his adventures and passions. A lot of the time though, I simply do not have the energy.

Compromising on adventures - driving to Mt Tambourine for a little bit of shopping, 

fine food and a rainforest walk.

I can't say I'm not worried for our future and that I'm not worried about what this means for our relationship, but I do hold out hope that we can reach some sort of middle ground with this - going for bike rides together, swimming at the beach, the odd day at a theme park or the water slides and I have made myself a pact to always try to do something super fun with him on days when I'm feeling good - learning to surf, rides on the motorbike, go karting and learning to kite board are reserved for these days. A big part of me trying to make up for what I can't do with Jake is watching him do his favourite sports while lounging with a book so that he feels my presence and support without me doing anything physically exerting. All things considered though, Since my specialist appointment I do spend a fair bit of time scared out of my wits that he is going to leave me for some hot, sporty bitch on a motorbike someday, and madly trying to shake off my doubts that he can stick with me through this illness, whatever it may bring.

I am also worried about how my illness could progress, and what affect this might have on my personal relationships. What happens if my lupus starts attacking my organs, or if my body rejects my babies and I miscarry someday? Where is my life going if this illness is going to be ever-present within it and how will we all cope? I try not to think of the worst case scenarios here, but the idea of kidney transplants and miscarriages are always at the back of my mind and sometimes I worry more about how Jake and my family would cope with this than how I will.

I'm sorry to dump on you all like this, but I needed to get this off my chest. It is too much of a burden to carry alone and the weight is already leaving my shoulders as I write this. You have all always been so supportive of me, and I appreciate you all so much. If you've been through something similar, I would love to hear from you. With lupus being more common than AIDS, cerebral palsy, multiple sclerosis and cystic fibrosis combined and with no known cause or treatment, I could use a good chat with other people who suffer from the illness. I find it hard to talk to family and friends because it's just so hard for them to understand. Also, if you have any questions, I'll do my best to answer them and please don't be afraid to ask. Thanks for sticking with me through this post guys, I know it was a long one!

Life Update and some news!

Well, I'm back and I'm back with a video! Find out what I've been up to below. Sorry if it's a little, incy-wincy bit rambly - practise makes perfect and I certainly need practise! Be kind and thanks for watching. Hopefully I'll return to regular blogging soon!



A bit about Arbonne for if you'd like to know more:

• Arbonne is an award winning, Swiss Ultra Premium skincare and cosmetic brand which is run through a network marketing platform, meaning that it is sold only through independent consultants who are trained in knowledge of the products and can share them with people in person and built their own business around Arbonne.
• Arbonne is 100% vegan and cruelty free - that means no animal by products and no animal testing whatsoever!
• All Arbonne products are botanically based, and free of nasty petrochemicals, parabens, phalates, mineral oils and other harmful chemicals.
• Arbonne's RE9 Advanced anti-aging set is the world's #1 anti-aging product
• Arbonne's Primer is also a world #1 product

If you would like to know anything else, please don't hesitate to ask me in the comments or shoot me an email, I'd love to tell you all about Arbonne's products and the Arbonne opportunity! 

If you'd like to buy any Arbonne products, you can use my Arbonne Independent Consultant ID to join as a client (it's totally free to join up) or you can join as a preferred client for just $27 and receive 20% off all products including your first order, as well as qualifying for a free product if you spend $195 in one transaction in your first month. My ID is: 613297231 and the items will be shipped to you directly. 

An Extraordinary Weekend

I'm back! Golly, it seems I have written those two words wayyy too much on this little blog, but as per the last time I was "back" I do not feel one shred of guilt for not posting lately. Nope, not one. You see, I found out something pretty interesting over the last few weeks. First off, I learnt that moving house the week before your first assessment block for the semester at uni is absolute hell and should be avoided at all costs. Secondly, I learned that when you hate the place where you live, you WILL NOT unpack boxes no matter how much you are willing yourself to be happy there. It just becomes physically impossible. Third of all, I learned that blogging when you've just moved, you are in the middle of an assessment block, you hate the place you live and you spend every spare moment you have travelling down to Lennox Head to breathe in the fresh ocean air and spend time with your boyfriend is impossible. You just won't do it!

Lastly, I learnt that Mumma does indeed know best, and I should listen to her more often. Seriously, she knows me better than I know myself sometimes, and that's a scary thought! Now, on to my extraordinary weekend and hopefully this last little bit of information will start making sense.

Many of you will know by now that I moved to Southport a few weeks ago, and you most certainly know by this point in this post that I don't love it. I'm not sure exactly why I dislike living here so intensely, but I think it has something to do with one unclean housemate, a cat regularly shitting in my bathtub and being away from all the people I love. So, every weekend, I pack my big, green overnight bag and head home. To my true home - Lennox Head. I used to leave on a saturday afternoon, after I finished work and come back on Tuesday morning, when I would head straight to uni for the day, but I lost my job last week via text message and that is the first reason why this weekend was so extraordinary. I got a whole extra day with the man I love.

Secondly, this week I got a (sort of) break from the travelling, and Jake came to stay with me for a change. He loves to trick me and surprise me, and he did that again this week by calling me Friday afternoon to say he wasn't sure if he'd make it that night because he had to work late, and then I turned the corner into my street to see his car in the driveway and my heart melted. That's the second reason this weekend was extraordinary, Jake came to visit me for the first time since I moved with the intention of giving me a break from travelling. Of course, I ended up coming home with him Sunday night anyway to have a few extra nights together, but I still love him for it.

This weekend was also extraordinary because I got to watch Jake ride! I love that my boyfriend does an interesting sport. It is actually so cool to me, sitting at Queensland Moto Park watching the boys ride bikes! The little kids on peewees just about kill me with cluckiness, but that's nothing to how I feel seeing Jake ride. Riding really is his passion. It's what he lives for and every time he is out on a track, on a trail or even just riding around a paddock he is so happy, and that makes me happy. He puts his all into his riding and it really shows. He is so go-for-it and is quite a good rider, with enough patience to teach whoever wants to learn. I got some pretty good photos of him this weekend, which I'm glad of because it's not often he has someone on hand to take photos. Hopefully I won't be the photographer for too long, though! I want my own bike. I want to get confident enough with my riding to hit the tracks, and do small jumps, but I know that's a long while off yet.

`The last, and most important reason that this weekend was so extraordinary is due to an important decision I made. It's no secret that I'm not happy where I am, and I decided to do something about it. Ever since the start of our relationship, I expected that when I started uni, Jake would just pack up and come with me, leaving his job and his family behind. It's what he thought, too. Unfortunately, we have had a crappy run this year and that's how I got to where I am. Now, it seems I have had a moment of realisation. I realised that the Gold Coast is not the best place for me right now. I realised that I miss home, miss my family, miss Jake and am unproductive in my current environment because of this. I realised that there is no point in Jake upheaving his life to come here when we will both just want to move back in two years time when my degree is finished. I also realised that he has a great job, with a steady client base and a boss who gives him a lot of responsibility which will come in handy when he is qualified and wants to set up his own business one day, and that his mum is sick and he should be close to her while she goes through this. I expected my boyfriend to pack up his life and move to a city neither of us love, which we will only be leaving again in two years, and that is unacceptable.

I have made a meeting to find out how I switch my degree over to distance education. I am contacting the real estate to give notice at my unit. I will be leaving in the last week of October and I am never moving back here again. Losing my job freed my mind and enabled me to see clearly what I need to do to find happiness. At long last, Jake and I will be living together in our own place, and we will be doing it with the full support of both our families, nice and close to home. I won't say I'm not worried about doing uni by distance, because I am but I have a feeling I will be much more motivated to get my work done when I am living somewhere that I love. I have given so much to the Gold Coast this year, and it has not given anything back. I have learned from my experiences, and finally I am moving home. Mum said she knew all a long this is what I'd do. I hate that she is right, but the countdown is on!

This little note on my steering wheel lifted my heart this morning as I left Jake's place. I have made the right decision.

Questions, Comments and Reflections. Oh, and Where I Have Been Lately.

I've been gone for a while. Well, physical I've still been in the same place as ever, but in Internetland, I've not been quite as "on the radar" as usual. My Facebook, Twitter and Instagram accounts have still been pretty active, and I've been scrolling away the hours on Pinterest and Tumblr, but my blog presence has been practically non-existent. I'm sure this has left some of you wondering why, but I'm not sure there is really any answer. Right now my unread posts on Bloglovin' stand at 664 though, a number I can no longer ignore and I feel as though I need to jump back in to my online life. I'm ready for it!

In the last few weeks, life has been crazy. I started back at uni, and all you students out there will know what a massive time-consuming monster that is. I have had to make the decision to move house, I have cried over that decision, stressed over that decision and had multiple panic attacks over that decision, and that has also taken up a lot of my time, and on top of all of this, I have been sick. Not just with my usual CFS aches and pains and exhaustion, though. On top of that I have had a flu, and I guess that is a big part of why I have been absent from the blog lately. But before I give you all a proper update on what I've been up to, there is something I'd like to discuss. Blog guilt. Or rather, my lack of it over the past few weeks.

I'm sure that many of you bloggers out there know exactly what I mean when I talk about blog guilt. You will all know how it gnaws at your soul when you can't tend to your blog. How even though you know that you need time out, have taken too  much on, or just don't have anything to say right now, you can feel the guilt nagging at your brain, tugging at your heart and eating your soul whenever you go on a hiatus from blog world. It's a horrible feeling, and one I have felt many times, but over the last week or so, I haven't felt it once.

Does this make me a bad blogger? Does the fact I haven't posted in a week render me hopeless and doomed to fail in this overly competitive, PR driven world? Do I not even care about my blog anymore? These are the questions that I have been asking myself over the last few days, and they have been nagging at my brain more than blog guilt ever has. I'm not sure what it is about blogging, but this fun little hobby has a way of taking over your life after a while. You end up spending more and more time sat behind a computer, and less and less out in the real world doing things. You stress over content, over pictures, over how many times you should post a week. You compare yourself to other bloggers, stress yourself out over why no PR companies have contacted you yet, and find yourself getting caught up in silly little numbers. If you need to take a break for whatever reason, the guilt shimmies in, and the thing that you once loved to do all of a sudden feels like a massive chore. You want to do well with your blogging, you want to have hundreds of followers, and get sent free stuff and have people respect you, but in that moment, it all feels like too much. You wonder if you should even be blogging at all.

I have felt like this too many times. I have felt like a total blog failure just because I'm not noticed by PR or because so-and-so started blogging at the same time as me, and look how many thousands of followers she has. Feeling like that is total crap. Getting caught up in the business side of blogging, in trying to be successful and trying to be better than everyone else is total crap. I don't want that, I just want to write and make friends and read about all the fantastic things that my friends from all over the world have been getting up to lately, which is exactly why I decided today that my lack of blog guilt is a good thing. Not being guilty over not posting for a few days is the most liberating feeling! Finally I feel like I can step back and start enjoying blogging for what it really is again - a hobby. I'm removing advertising from my sidebar, having a total blog overhaul and starting fresh with blogging for me, and for fun without getting caught up in the competitiveness. It's going to be great, and you know, if good things come my blog's way, that will be a bonus but I'm not feeling pressured to stick to a schedule, or post about this or that, or gain followers. What happens happens and I'll be grateful for the supportive friendships that I make along the way.

The Last Week On Earth

Okay, so it's not really my last week on Earth, but last week was the last week of my uni holidays, and I don't quite know how to feel about that. On the one hand, I am so excited for everything this semester at uni has to offer me, but on the other I just know that by week 2 I will be swamped with assignments and feeling hellish. Anyway, I just thought I'd recap my last week of holidays for you, because some pretty big and emotional things have happened, and that is why last week felt like my very last week on Earth!

How can I put this? Ummm..... My housemate can no longer move in with me, and told me this two days before my lease ran out and then I panicked, and my boyfriend panicked and now if I don't find somewhere on the Gold Coast to live in the next three weeks, I have to move back in with my parents and drive two hours each way to uni, three days a week!

There, said it. Now I can breathe.

You can only imagine the emotions I felt upon hearing this news. I was distraught because I didn't know what to do, and I was panicked. I think I have had three panic attacks since Wednesday, and I have had to basically continuously do breathing exercises to calm myself down. The thought of packing all my stuff is so overwhelming, and the thought of leaving this unit just as it has started feeling like home is just destroying me. When I thought I was going to have to move back to mum and dad's I was lamenting the loss of freedom that would come with living with my family again, and I was dreading telling my boss that I had to leave work, because I really, really love my job!

Thankfully, when I turned up at work yesterday and told my boss my news, at first she was upset, but quickly she resolved that she would find me a place to live come hell or high water, and if I didn't find anywhere by the time my three weeks were up, I'd be moving in with her! Strangely, the fact that I had three whole weeks before I really had to panic didn't sink in until that moment, ad the fact that yes, it is possible I will find somewhere really came to light! Her reaction to my news made me feel good. I would be missed if I left work, and I had actual hope of finding a place to live, so what was I panicking about?

Yesterday afternoon, I watched a good friend of mine compete in a modelling competition (which he WON!) and went out to All You Can Eat Pizza Hut with him and a bunch of his friends from uni who I'd never met before to celebrate. They were lovely, lovely people and I am so glad I finally got a chance to meet them. We had a great time, and so some of us decided it would be a great idea to go out in Surfers Paradise last night to mourn the end of the holidays, even though most of them had uni this morning, bright and early. Even though I didn't have uni, I offered to be deso driver so that I could make sure everyone got home alright and would make it to uni this morning (quack quack, mother duck!). Also, because I live furthest south of everyone, and so would have to drive past all their houses to get home anyway, and I was determined to get home so I could sleep in my own bed! At first i wasn't going to go at all, but Grady insisted that he wanted to do whatever I wanted to do, but I knew he would like to go out, so I gave in. Well, turns out that going out was the best idea that anyone had all night, because I had a ball, and when we met up with other people at the clubs, and I got talking to one girl in particular, I actually found a potential place to live! I'm going to check out her place tomorrow afternoon after uni, and I'm so excited about it! Plus, because it's the smallest room in the house, if I rent it I get the garage to myself as well, and I'm going to deck it out as a combined lounge room/sewing room. Yep, I'm already planning, and I'm planning a bit of redecorating in my bedroom as well when the move takes place. I'm really hoping all goes well when I meet the girl's house mate tomorrow and that I like the room, because it's less than 10 minutes away from uni, and I really don't want to move back in to mum and dad's place!

Wish me luck for tomorrow. Things have just started looking up after a hellish week of uncertainty, and I'd really like to continue along this path. What have you been up to this past week? Have you had holidays where you live?

House Tour

A while ago, I wrote this guest post, a "real" house tour, for Anna of The Dusty Attic. I hope you don't mind recycled material, because I thought that I might share it on my blog today for those who missed it on Anna's. I warn you, though - I am a real person, and so my house is not the pinterest-perfect thing you see on most blogs. I'm a student with no budget for decorating, doing her best to make her house a home with the limited, second hand things I have available to me. I also am quite a messy person, so this my house on an average day. I say this because on a good day, it can look a million bucks for about 5 seconds, and on a bad day, well - you'd be lucky to see the floorboards! Anyway, I hope you enjoy having a nosy into my house. I love these kinds of posts, so I'm pretty confident that you all do too!

Starting on the verandah, here is a quick glimpse of the view from my third story flat. It's quite beautiful, day or night with the city off in the distance. I only wish I had a better camera to show it off more clearly! If you look in the other direction to this off our verandah, the view is of the mountains in the distance which separate the liveable portion of the country from the desert. It's rather nice being able to pick our view, and hearing the rumble of the ocean is so soothing at night!

Once you walk in the front door, you have landed in our living room! Its quite a nice, large space for such a small apartment, and it gets great natural light throughout most of the day, but especially during the morning. There's nothing like a bit of sunshine to wake you up and brighten your day!

This room is probably the most "decorated" of the lot, so far, as I bought the rug for a steal from spotlight to make the room more cosy, and have sprinkled some antiques throughout to make it feel like home. I also have my Blue Willow collection on display in this room, nice and close to the kitchen because I lack cupboard space in this place, and it looks rather pretty in the cane hutch. Functionality was more important to me when I moved in, on such a limited budget as I was, so the fact that my Blue Willow collection is pretty and functional is a huge plus for me! Another feature of this room, which brightens it up whilst also being functional is my dining table - the biggest DIY project I have ever taken on!

Excuse the black edges on this photograph, I can't seem to find the original, non-instagram version and my editing software isn't cooperating right now for me to get rid of them! This little chunk of the room is my absolute favourite, visually. It was never intended to have a blue and orange theme in this room, but I love the way it is coming together. This antique plate was my mum's and she has graciously let me have it to decorate my space :)

The kitchen in this place is tiny and I hate cooking on an electric stove, but overall the kitchen is functional, even if it does lack cupboard space. The people who were renting this place before us apparently ruined the kitchen, and so we were lucky enough to get a brand new one before we moved in!

The boyfriend, demonstrating the kitchen's functionality and making me a sandwich! I have trained him well ;)

I haven't really found that there is much I can do to inject my personality into this kitchen, as it's so modern and plain (unless leaving dishes in the dish rack for three days counts? It shows my laziness!). I have been displaying these little beauties with pride since my mum gave them to me, though and the big one is used to store tea bags! I'm rather fond of them, as they remind me of mum.

My bedroom is soo bloody frustrating as far as decorating goes! I really haven't bought much for it since moving in, and I have no idea what direction to take it in. All I know is that I'm keeping the bedspread the same, as cream will go with almost everything and I love the rose details.The bedspread is one of the few things I bought new solely for decorating purposes for this house. This room is very plain at the moment, and usually is adorned with piles of dirty washing on the floor near my wardrobe. I'm just stuck on what to do with it to make it feel more "me" without going too girly so that Jake (my boyfriend) doesn't feel uncomfortable, or not at home.

Update: Since posting on Anna's blog, I have decided that to hell with what boyfriend thinks! I am decoratng my room in pastels and he has no say in the matter (not that I really think he will care!) I am hoping to start picking things up here and there over the coming weeks to make this room feel more bright, pretty and "me". You all know that means lace and florals, don't you? I thought so!

This other view of my room is rather depressing. I've been meaning to do this dresser up since Jake's parents gave it to us, but just haven't had the time or the energy for such a project since I moved in. Plus, it's not big enough and I really, actually want to replace it with something more functional. At the moment it is adorned with random antiques and the jewellery box my grandad gave me, but again, I'm not sure which direction I want to take this room in and this will probably change. My dresser is always messy, as I like to have everyday needs within reach. Obviously, a flower crown is an everyday need for a blogger ;)

There's not much to really say about the bathroom... it's lacking storage, but it's in good working order.

And finally, my baby. My precious spare room, which was supposed to be an office/sewing room, but never quite got there! This room is my happy place, my dumping ground, my creative space and the space where everything gets to much and I feel as though I'm ready to drop out of university! I love this little space, even though it never really got to where I wanted it to go. Sadly, I am saying goodbye to this space in a few weeks, with a housemate moving in as soon as she gets her finances in order. I'l be sad to see it go, but I am welcoming the company and the financial relief a housemate will bring. Somehow I have to fit all this stuff into my bedroom, though and that is a scary thought!

Well, thats it! A virtual tour of my whole house done and dusted! It's not the biggest space in the world, and it's far from perfect, but as a first time renter and uni student, I feel so lucky to be in it at all! I hope you've enjoyed my little tour, and I hope that soon I'll be able to keep you posted on the changes that happen to the house as I start getting some decorating done here and there!

Weekend Adventures!

This weekend was HUGE for me. So huge, in fact, that I am still tired from it! Want to know what I got up to?

Friday night started with my university's bi-annual PO MO FO (or post-modern formal for those who aren't too fond of acronyms). It was held at Gov's Espresso and Bar, an awesome little hipster hideaway which I absolutely loved, on it's last night ever of being open! I went with Jake, and met two of my friends there. We dressed in our finest 80's get ups and had a blast singing and dancing along to the bands that played. One of the bands played the infamous Get Lucky by Daft Punk so of course, that got a few people up and dancing, including myself! Unfortunately, it seemed like no one, aside from my friends and myself, really got "into it" until the end of the last band's se. I found that a bit of a shame, because it's always so much more fun dancing when everyone else in the room is up and moving, too! We still had a great night though. So great, in fact, that I forgot to take pictures (oops).

Saturday morning, even after having a late night, Jake somehow convinced me that going to Warner Brother's Movie World would be an excellent idea! I'm rather glad he did, as well because we had such a great time!

We went and saw a few shows, including the Stunt Driver show (which was kind of lame), waved to various characters as they walked around the place, including Austin Powers, Batman and Scooby Doo and went on a heap of rides, which was both thrilling and scary! My favourite ride was the Superman ride, which was basically just a really, really fast roller coaster, but it was closely followed by the Scooby Doo ride, which takes you through a "haunted house" like in the Scooby Doo movie before turning into this fast, jerking roller coaster which had me squealing and giggling with delight! I think I was probably more excited about that ride than the little kiddies who went on it, actually. I've been waiting to go on it since the movie came out however many years ago that was, so it was a long time in waiting and it didn't disappoint!

There were plenty of shops around the place to browse through as well, including a Harry Potter shop, which was rather lame. I can't wait to go to London one day and go on the actual, proper set tour and drink butter beer and eat cauldron cakes and buy some Ravenclaw stuff and a magic wand! (Yes, I am that nerdy. No judgements here, please!)

After all day at Movie World (not recommended if you have back problems, and want to be able to move around the next day) Jake and I just spent a quiet day on Sunday, enjoying a sleep in, and snuggles in bed in the morning, pancakes for brekky and a nice, little movie day. The weather was awful Sunday, so we just closed the blinds and hid from the world, being soppy and romantic and all that stuff while it lasted. We have to fit in as much of that gooey stuff as we can on the weekends, before saying goodbye on Monday mornings. I miss him so much through the week!

So what did you get up to on the weekend? Anything exciting?

The Power of Being Friendly

So, you may have noticed that I'm not exactly blogging every day in May anymore, but alas, life is busy and this can't be helped. However, the topic of compliments from the other day got me thinking...

via

A while ago I was having pre-drinks with friends before a night out. I mentioned that I was hungry and suggested pizza. Unfortunately, one of my friends was pulling a sicky from the local pizza place and since we were at his house, that turned out to not be the best idea. I was bummed since I hadn't eaten since breakfast, and was a little worried, too, since it's not often that I drink and I thought I was bound to be sick if I didn't eat something first. Well, this guy who I had just met about 5 minutes before, and who is my friend's house mate jumped to attention at the mention of my hunger.
"I'll make you some pasta!" he said.
"Oh, really?" I replied. "That would be great!"
So off he toddled to the kitchen to make me some pasta. A kind gesture, which I thought nothing of. Until...
"What are you doing?"
"Making Sunae some pasta"
"What! No you're not!" (said with shock, not nastiness, by my best friend) "Sunae gets absolutely bloody everything done for her! Has she seriously charmed you that much already?"

Now it was my turn to be shocked!
"Umm, Leeshy? I do not! He is just being nice, don't scare the poor boy!"
The nice guy came and brought me my yummy pasta and I thanked him profusely. But, later on the subject of the pasta came up again, when the friend who's house we were at gave me his long sleeve shirt to wear over my skimpy dress when I was cold.
"Who's shirt are you wearing, Sunae?"
"J-j-jamie's" I replied, biting my tongue through chattering teeth "Ouch! Bit my t-t-t-t-tongue"
Everyone laughed, and we got in the nice warm taxi. Being drunk as we were, we got honest with each other here. I called my friend out on liking a guy, Jamie called me out for pole-dancing in the night club. I caught Cam out for being an awkward dancer. Then Leeshy caught me out on once again getting something from someone for nothing (the shirt). Then we all started brain storming (or Leeshy and I did, anyway) on all the things I've gotten off people in the past.

I once got my iPhone screen fixed for free by a nice guy in the Apple shop. Without an appointment.
One drunken night out, my friend and I were given a whole bottle of Jaegermeister and a heap of Red Bulls after telling a girl that her hair was pretty. That same night I was given about 10 other free drinks off people as well.
Basically, once we started thinking about it, we realised there had been quite a few times I had been given things for free off people I had just met.
Then the next day, Leeshy bought me KFC for breakfast. Totally just drove the point home!

Anyways, I was a little baffled at the realisation of this. What do I do that makes people be so bloody nice to me? I broached the subject with Jake a few days later, after being allowed to cut in the line at the shopping centre by a lovely man who I smiled at.

"It's because you're nice, baby." he said rather matter-of-factly. "Why wouldn't people want to do nice things for you? You are the smiliest, friendliest person I know. You're always nice to people, and so people are nice back." Jake said this without the slightest hint of trying to suck up to me. He said it, and just carried on with whatever he was doing at the time, and there I was just sitting, smiling like a goofball.

This has got to be the nicest compliment I have ever received. And the best thing about it? It wasn't even said like a compliment. Just like a simple answer to a question which was troubling me way more than it should have. Sometimes we don't give ourselves enough credit for the type of people we are. I had never really thought of myself as a particularly nice person, I am just me. Complimenting people, giving them things, doing nice things for people is just in my nature, but it was nice to have someone compliment me on the way I live my day-to-day life.